I Know of a Lady Who Swallowed a Fly . . .

I completely forgot to mention this in a post on Monday, but I HAVE to relay this--it was just too funny!

On Sunday night I had dinner with the Urban Family and during the course of the evening PMG retold a story about a high-school friend of his getting a fly stuck in his ear for THREE DAYS before it died and could be extracted (we somehow got to that subject via talking about mosquitoes). The poor guy was so tweaked out from the constant buzzing after day ONE, I couldn't help but feel bad for him that he had another two days to go before it was done . . . and I don't even know the guy.

Later that night I headed home and, it being Sunday, I had to put out the recycling for pickup in the morning . . . and on my way back up the drive what do you think happened?? Yep, I got a bug in my ear. A mosquito. It flew too close, and immediately thinking about the fly story I panicked and batted it away . . . and right into my ear. And it got stuck.

As soon as I realized the thing was not coming out, my thought processes abandoned the fly story and went right for the Twilight Zone episode with the guy who got an earworm stuck in his ear, and it had babies, and now I was sure I was going to be slowly bled dry via my ear drum by a very fat mosquito.

It was buzzing, I could feel it moving around, I was freaking out in the middle of the driveway slapping at my head and trying to hold my ear up so it'll fly out! All I could think of was dealing with this for THREE DAYS. THREE DAYS!! &^#%%^)@#_&!!! I don't even like people blowing in my ear or doing that wet willy thing--my ears are Off Limits--and here I had a dang mosquito crawling around in one!! Do not think of the Twilight Zone, do not think of the Twilight Zone . . .

Now, I am not one given to episodes of complete panic--I'm usually pretty calm in the face of a crisis once I'm over my initial shock, and this was no exception. The whole 'there is something moving in my ear' was really pushing my panic buttons, but I was able to appreciate the irony of the situation, and the synchronicity of the timing. PMG loves synchronicity--I knew he'd get a kick out of this, so twitching my way up to the apartment I headed to the nearest phone and babbled senselessly about the dang mosquito stuck in my ear.

He did get a kick out of it, and to make a long story short, I did not have to endure days of endless buzzing or sleepless nights: the thing found its own way out in about an hour.

Stupid mosquito!!