Crap

I am so tired right now. And still no sleepy-sleepy (as a former dance teacher might say--you know who I'm talking about, Pam).

Somebody please come tranq' me!!

Also, it has come to my attention that avoiding the gym (read as: tread mill) and sitting on my bum in a car for the last three weeks straight results in an unpleasant backside profile despite taking the stairs up to my 4th floor hotel room every day. Good thing swimsuit season is over. I'm going to take up martial arts--that will solve the squishy bum issue, the sleeplessness, and maybe even a little stress-agression. Plus, my little sister gets to toss me around and otherwise kick my ass for fun (karma, I tell you) and then practice emergency medical stuff (she's in nursing school) when I break something while simultaneously trying to hook me up with various younger cute guys in the class. It's a win-win!

(flip!)
B: "Oooooowww!!! You broke my aaaaarrrrm, woman!"

P: "Well, hold still while I set the bone and quitcher cryin', plus that was just payback for that time you stomped on my favorite white Easter hat with the pink and yellow flowers when I was five. Yo, cute younger dude with the chiseled abs and black belt, come over here and help me tie a splint on."

B: "Well, helloooo, cute younger guy with the chiseled abs . . . (oooooowwww!!!) . . . will you hold my hand until the ambulance comes?"

P: "Yeah, and she's single, too. Now watch her barf from the pain when I do THISSSSS!"