So, just to "lay it all out there" and get all the remnant "abject futility" emotion from this morning's appointment off my chest here is a list of all other "normal" things about me. You may begin to understand why I get upset when doctors try to treat me like it's my own doing when something medical just doesn't make sense:
1. Nitrous oxide (laughing gas) makes me violently ill and will actually put me out far longer than the dose should. For example: a two hour dose given to me for oral surgery knocked me out for 6 hours--I woke up after the office had closed and about 5 minutes before the staff and my grandfather were going to take me to the hospital (they said). I did nothing but barf for two days after. I'm told my great-aunt Margie had similar problems with the gas, but no one else in my family does. Had I not been busy barfing while being carried out to the car, I would have told them off in no uncertain terms that I seriously did not appreciate having them shake my head so hard with the gas mask to make sure I was out once I lost consciousness; that was unneccesary.
2. Penicillin and related drugs will also knock me out far longer than they should--no biggie, since a lot of folks have 'cillin reactions. I had an ear infection when I was 8 and my dad had to wake me up for more medicine--I think I slept straight through 4 days.
3. Tylenol/acetaminophen: smallest caplet dose will make me semi-catatonic and basically give me 'bad trip' effects of slo-mo, disconnectedness, and the desire to either pass out or barf, or both at the same time. I took one once in desperation to ease a pounding sinus headache (it'd been about 10 years since I'd last had a tylenol) and scared my aunt so bad she thought she was going to have to call my mom (her sister) and tell her she killed me.
4. Caffeine puts me to sleep. I have no idea what people are talking about when they say "coffee buzz" or "caffeine high". I had a friend test this once, and watched me take a nap 20 mins after seeing me snarf down 1/4 pound of chocolate covered espresso beans (one of my favorite candies!).
5. I have never been drunk. The most I have ever been is feeling slightly tipsy after 7 shots of tequila in as many minutes, but a quick trip to pee and I was right as rain, thank you very much. You can believe me or not--I get a lot of scepticism about this one, especially since I don't drink beer or wine (I hate the flavor)--but to date folks have given up trying to get me buzzed, and I will admit that until I make that trip to the loo I do sometimes feel a little lightheaded.
6. Portions of my brain actually run (electrically) backwards from the rest of my head. According to several tests and re-tests, not only do I run backwards, but I am also 5% of the world's population that have spiking 'seizure' activity in specific areas but do not have any clinical representation of seizure activity associated with it . . . running backwards with seizure spikes in my brain is completely normal for me. And no, I'm not an epileptic.
7. My hands have two very separate temps; one runs normal/hot, the other cold--proven via datalogger testing at a training seminar using a thermistor (a simple two-wire temperature device). I also tend to shock myself every day and then some at the office since they remodeled using metal studs and I can get a good 1/2" electrical arc from the filing cabinets. I don't do much filing anymore . . .
Also, my knees aren't constructed right, I'm double jointed just about everywhere, and I have such high arches I can wear stilletto heels for hours and not hurt. I have no cavities or other tooth issues, I still have my tonsils and appendix, I rarely get sick (but when I do it's 104° for 3 days), I was 5'6 by the end of the 6th grade, and my hair is a natural mess of straight/wavy/curly in brown/black/red.
Dr. L really cheesed me off this morning . . . sheesh!!
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