The Rating System of Beth

The Rating System of Beth is based on observations made by multiple unrelated people at various times and places.  Apparently, I am at least consistent in this.

The Rules:

• Everyone/Everything up for judgement starts out with and will maintain the maximum allowable score--you/it are tops until you/it fumbles into a FUBAR Screw Up (FSU)
• Penalties for a FSU do not occur unless that FSU reduced my overall vapid happiness in such a way that I was forced to pay attention to said FSU
• For each time that I am forced to pay attention to the FSU, 1 point is deducted
• For each time that I am pleasantly surprised by either
• a minor inconsequential detail related in NO WAY to the FSU or
• a happy ending to the FSU, 0.5 points are added
• If the review score reaches 1, I will start assessing the damage potential of every item within reach.
• If the review score drops to 0, heads will roll
• If, at any time (including mid- or post-apocolyptic destruction), you/it manage to commit a "funny" and make me laugh about the FSU, the review score is reset to the maximum allowable score

Exceptions to The Rules:

• Benefit of the Doubt Clause:
• Everything/Everyone up for judgement automatically receives ONE (1) Benefit of the Doubt for having a Bad Day.  That is, you/it gets a second chance, without any starting penalty to the second chance.
• If the second chance also results in a FSU, all penalties heretofore withheld will be applied to the total score.
• If the FSU is caused by a person/animal, he/she is subject to the following:
• If the relationship with that person has been of long-standing good quality (as perceived by me), that person is exempt from judgement and all blame shall be placed on outside forces such as:
• Fate
• The Incompetent Wedding Planner
• Illness
• Traffic/Utility Fault/Other Infrastructure Failure
• Me
• If the relationship with that person has been of long-standing good quality (as perceived by me), but that person choses to forfeit judgement exemption because that person martyrs him/herself to guilt regardless of actual blame as a means to control and manipulate others, and then purposely directs his/her self-anger at me, then the FSU score is immediately tallied to 0 and permanently filed under "Piss Off & Die"
• If the relationship with that person has been of long-standing, but declining quality (as perceived by me and the increasing frequency with which I grow weary of having the same arguement again and again), that person is subject to a MINUS ONE (-1) judgement handicap
• If the relationship with that person has been limited to a short-term engagement (example: Shelly the waitress), that person is judged by The Rules as stated above under The Rules
• The maximum allowable score can be surpassed in the following ways:
• The FSU is skillfully acted upon and resolved without me, but I happen to clue-in on my own anyway via a chance break in my overall vapid happiness
• No FSU occurred, but I am surprised by a gift of a favorite thing anyway, just because
• A rare encounter with some new thing/place/event that results in spontaneous Instant Happy, may involve jumping up and down, and a new "favorite" (see my two Diggs Dynamite posts for example)