For those of you not in The Know, as of last October I have to take medicine to keep certain areas of my brain from going haywire, literally. The rest of me is fine, it's just my memory that gets affected. Eventually the medical stuff will end up in a post or two--the information wasn't out there when I was looking, and it's my hope that writing about my experiences here will help someone else looking for answers. In the meantime, I have only this to say:
Keppra is the anti-christ of medicine.
Sounds like a song title--I'll have to work on that. You think it's this miraculous thing, and it's going to Save you, but really it's got this whole dark side that's just waiting to come out. Maybe it's more like the Darth Vader of medicine.
Anywho, when I started taking this stuff it was promoted as a 'clean' anti-seizure med with little or no side effects (and believe me, I asked--I have the weirdest physiological reactions to the dumbest crap). About 6 months and several lost tempers later it is discovered that this 'clean' drug can induce a roller coaster ride of emotional states, chief among them rage, which explains why Keppra is sometimes referred to as "Kepprage." (Anyone thinking about that movie 28 Days yet? If not, you should be--lol!)
Now, those who knew me BEFORE I started taking this drug will tell you that my temper, once lit, goes from zero to completelypissedoffyouwilldierightnowifyoudon'tgetoutofmyface in about 2 seconds flat--and no worries, there is always plenty of warning and it takes A LOT to get me to that point. I think now that having that kind of flash-fire temper before the Keppra is a good thing--I had years to learn to recognize the danger signs, years to train myself on keeping the temper under control. The stuff that gets to me is usually pretty big; dramatic juvenile shite doesn't get a passing thought any more than I might think about swatting a gnat.
Keppra makes me think about the gnat. And think about the gnat. And think about the &$^)#$*& gnat! I am completely unable to let it go, but I can choose to remove myself from the gnats' vicinity until the fuming is done and I'm in control of my own thoughts and able to let the gnat slide off into ignorable oblivion where it belongs.
Yesterday I was in Kepprage mode and had to abstain from joining everyone at a Chinese restaurant for dinner--possible gnat issues. Instead I went home and broke a sweat over washing dishes and scraping wallpaper while I let my brain continue it's Bruce Lee Meets Chuck Norris fantasy in which I play the lead hero role, the gnat well and truly punished for it's crime (however insignificant). This is better for everyone, really . . . . I didn't want soysauce and bits of gnat on my skirt anyway--they just don't wash out easily.
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